My Bailout's Bigger than yours

Fed Defies Transparency Aim in Refusal to Disclose

Ben: Hey Hank! Good to see you. This round’s on me.
Hank: Oh no, I’m buying – I just got an 800 billion dollar bailout deal.
Ben: Wow, look at you. Not bad for a cabinet member. But you can’t compete against the Fed.
Hank: No? How are you going to top 800 billion?
Ben: Try 2 trills.
Hank: Yeah right. I watched C-Span all month, not a single mention of giving 2 trillion to the Fed.
Ben: Yep, that’s the best part. No congressional oversight, no vote.
Hank (staring incredulously): You’re serious aren’t you? Do you realize I had to get on my knees in front of Nancy just to get 800 billion, and you more than double that?
Ben: That was great, I still have that picture in my phone. And it’s 2.5 times more, to be precise.
Hank: Two trillion? Where’d you get that kind of cash? They’re talking about massive tax hikes just for mine.
Ben: Easy, I just print the money. I got a great deal on a high speed color laser printer. I printed 50 billion last night for an auto company, it only jammed once!
Hank: Sweet. And no tax hike.
Ben: Yep, just mass inflation. Just think, this beer you’re drinking will probably cost about $900 at some point. It'll resolve the mortgage crisis too, since $500,000 won't even buy an SUV at the rate I'm printing.
Hank: Who are you lending it to?
Ben: That’s another thing, I don’t have to say.
Hank: This is too good to be true! But you can tell me, right?
Ben: I can but…
Hank: C’mon Ben. Remember that press conference when that reporter asked me if the Federal government could make money from this deal, and you were in the back trying to get me to laugh? You owe me!
Ben: Alright, next time.
Hank: Fine, I gotta go anyway.
Ben: Where to?
Hank: I need to wash Nancy’s car.

The above was a fictional satire. Any references to names, numbers, and economic situations are purely coincidental.

The Other 630 Billion

News Flash!

Today the Federal Reserve injected a total of 630 billion dollars in the financial system in an effort to alleviate the lack of liquidity.

So while Congress is fighting back and forth over this bail out plan (or rescue plan, depending on which spinster you talk to), two miles away the Federal Reserve found 630 billion dollars and threw it into the market.

Odd how this story is being so widely ignored while the crash and burn of the 700 billion bailout makes the headlines. Is this 630 billion not as important as the other 700 billion? The 630 billion wasn’t here this morning – it’s being printed on high powered color printers as we speak.

No vote, no debate. Now we know who’s really running the Country.